Hewlett, Maurice, 1861-1923 / 2008-06-18 00:00:00

Be these things as they
may--inflaming arrows full of danger, shafts of charity, pious
artillery, as you will--they were turned full play upon me. From the
first moment of my seeing her she set herself to put me at ease, to make
me an intimate of her house, to make herself, I may say in no wrong
sense, an inmate of my heart--and God knoweth, God knoweth how she
succeeded.
Aurelia! Impossibly fair, inexpressibly tender and wise, with that
untaught wisdom of the child; daughter of pure religion, as I saw thee
at first and can see thee still, can that my first vision of thee ever
be effaced? Nay, but it is scored too deeply in my heart, is too surely
my glory and my shame. Still I can see that sweet stoop of thy humility,
still thy hands crossed upon thy lovely bosom, still fall under the
spell of thy shyly welcoming eyes, and be refreshed, while I am stung,
by the gracious greeting of thy lips. "Sia il ben venuto, Signer
Francesco," saidst thou? Alas, what did I prove to thee, unhappy one,
but il mal venuto, the herald of an evil hour? What did I offer thee in
exchange for thy bounty but shame and salt tears? What could be my
portion but fruitless reproach and footsore pilgrimage from woe to woe?
But I forget myself. I am not yet to disinter these unhappy days.
It is not to be supposed from this apostrophe that when I fell at once
to love my master's wife I saw in her more than my lamp and my saint,
the gracious presence which should "imparadise," in Dante's phrase, my
mind.
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