When I reached my lodging, Pauline
broke in through my first stammering words with:
"'If you haven't any money----?'
"Ah, the music of Rossini was as nothing compared with those words.
But to return to the performance at the Funambules.
"I thought of pawning the circlet of gold round my mother's portrait
in order to escort the countess. Although the pawnbroker loomed in my
thoughts as one of the doors of a convict's prison, I would rather
myself have carried my bed thither than have begged for alms. There is
something so painful in the expression of a man who asks money of you!
There are loans that mulct us of our self-respect, just as some
rebuffs from a friend's lips sweep away our last illusion.
"Pauline was working; her mother had gone to bed. I flung a stealthy
glance over the bed; the curtains were drawn back a little; Madame
Gaudin was in a deep sleep, I thought, when I saw her quiet, sallow
profile outlined against the pillow.
"'You are in trouble?' Pauline said, dipping her brush into the
coloring.
"'It is in your power to do me a great service, my dear child,' I
answered.
"The gladness in her eyes frightened me.
"'Is it possible that she loves me?' I thought. 'Pauline,' I began.
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