The sala, upstairs, was as dark as usual and my lamp as I crossed
it found nothing satisfactory to show me. I was disappointed,
for I had notified Miss Tita that I would come back for a report,
and I thought she might have left a light there as a sign.
The door of the ladies' apartment was closed; which seemed an intimation
that my faltering friend had gone to bed, tired of waiting for me.
I stood in the middle of the place, considering, hoping she would
hear me and perhaps peep out, saying to myself too that she would
never go to bed with her aunt in a state so critical; she would
sit up and watch--she would be in a chair, in her dressing gown.
I went nearer the door; I stopped there and listened.
I heard nothing at all and at last I tapped gently.
No answer came and after another minute I turned the handle.
There was no light in the room; this ought to have prevented me from
going in, but it had no such effect. If I have candidly narrated
the importunities, the indelicacies, of which my desire to possess
myself of Jeffrey Aspern's papers had rendered me capable I need
not shrink from confessing this last indiscretion. I think it was
the worst thing I did; yet there were extenuating circumstances.
I was deeply though doubtless not disinterestedly anxious for more
news of the old lady, and Miss Tita had accepted from me, as it were,
a rendezvous which it might have been a point of honor with me to keep.
It may be said that her leaving the place dark was a positive sign
that she released me, and to this I can only reply that I desired
not to be released.
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