Oh, my
friend, I have suffered a great deal to-day, and, in order to tell
you this, I chose you as my companion. I dare not complain before
the king," Marie Antoinette went on, while two tears rolled slowly
down her cheeks, "for I will not be the means of opening a breach in
the family, and the king would cause them to feel his wrath who have
drawn tears from the eyes of his wife. But you are my friend,
Besenval, and I confide in your friendship and in your honor. Now,
tell me, you who know the world, and who are my senior in experience
of life, tell me whether I do wrong to live as I do. Are the king's
aunts right in charging it upon me as a crime, that I take part in
the simple joys of life, that I take delight in my youth and am
happy? Is the Count de Provence right in charging me, as with a
crime, that I am the chief counsellor of the king, and that I
venture to give him my views regarding political matters? Am I
really condemned to stand at an unapproachable distance from the
people and the court, like a beautiful statue? Is it denied to me to
have feeling, to love and to hate, like everybody else? Is the Queen
of France nothing but the sacrificial lamb which the dumb idol
etiquette carries in its leaden arms, and crushes by slowly pressing
it to itself? Tell me, Besenval; speak to me like an honorable and
upright man, and remember that God is above us and hears our words!"
"May God be my witness," said Besenval, solemnly.
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