I was frightened by Grogoff. I
could not believe that the new freedom, the new Russia, the new world
would be made by such men. He waved his arms, he pushed back his hair,
the men shouted. Grogoff was triumphant: 'The New World... _Novaya
Jezn, Novaya Jezn_!' (New Life!) I heard him shout.
"The sun before it set flooded the hall with light. What a scene through
the dust! The red flags, the women and the soldiers and the shouting!
"I was suddenly dismayed. 'How can order come out of this?' I thought.
'They are all mad.... Terrible things are going to happen.' I was dirty
and tired and exhausted. I fought my way through the mob, found the
door. For a moment I looked back, to that sea of men lit by the last
light of the sun. Then I pushed out, was thrown, it seemed to me, from
man to man, and was at last in the air.... Quiet, fires burning in the
courtyard, a sky of the palest blue, a few stars, and the people singing
the 'Marseillaise.'
"It was like drinking great draughts of cold water after an intolerable
thirst....
"...Hasn't Tchekov said somewhere that Russians have nostalgia but no
patriotism? That was never true of me--can't remember how young I was
when I remember my father talking to me about the idea of Russia.
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