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Bangs, John Kendrick, 1862-1922

"Mr. Bonaparte of Corsica"


"Dear Cousin George," he wrote, "you have probably read in the
newspapers by this time that I'm working under a new alias, and I
hope you will like it as well as I do. It's great fun, but there is
one feature of it all that I don't like. I hate to be fighting with
my new cousins all the time, and particularly with you whom I have
always loved deeply, though secretly. Now, my dear George, let me
ask you what's the use of a prolonged fight? You've waxed fat in ten
years, and so have I. We've painted the earth red between us. Why
can't we be satisfied? Why should our relations continue to be
strained? I've got some personal relations I'd like to have
strained, but I can attend to them myself. Let US have peace. I
don't want too big a piece. Give me enough, and you can have the
rest. Let us restore the entente cordiale and go about our business
without any further scrapping. 'Let dogs delight to bark and bite,'
as your illustrious poet hath it, 'for 'tis their nature to.' As for
us, the earth is large enough for both. You take the Western
Hemisphere and I'll keep this. Russia and the others can have what
remains.
Yours truly,
NAPOLEON,
Emperor of the French.


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