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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

The new District
Judge returned Colonel Starbottle's profoundly punctilious bow. The
Colonel was followed by his negro servant, carrying a parcel of
hymn-books and Bibles, who, with a courtesy evidently imitated from
his master, placed one before the opposite counsel. This, after a
first curious glance, the lawyer somewhat superciliously tossed aside.
But when Jim, proceeding to the jury-box, placed with equal politeness
the remaining copies before the jury, the opposite counsel sprang to
his feet.
"I want to direct the attention of the Court to this unprecedented
tampering with the jury, by this gratuitous exhibition of matter
impertinent and irrelevant to the issue."
The Judge cast an inquiring look at Colonel Starbottle.
"May it please the Court," returned Colonel Starbottle with dignity,
ignoring the counsel, "the defendant's counsel will observe that he is
already furnished with the matter--which I regret to say he has
treated--in the presence of the Court--and of his client, a deacon of
the church--with--er---great superciliousness. When I state to your
Honor that the books in question are hymn-books and copies of the
_Holy Scriptures_, and that they are for the instruction of the jury,
to whom I shall have to refer them in the course of my opening, I
believe I am within my rights.


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