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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

The Colonel, however, continued, with unchanged
deliberation: "It concerns--er--a young lady--a beautiful,
high-souled creature, sir, who, apart from her personal loveliness--
er--er--I may say is of one of the first families of Missouri, and--
er--not--remotely connected by marriage with one of--er--er--my
boyhood's dearest friends. The latter, I grieve to say, was a pure
invention of the Colonel's--an oratorical addition to the scanty
information he had obtained the previous day. The young lady," he
continued, blandly, "enjoys the further distinction of being the
object of such attention from you as would make this interview--
really--a confidential matter--er--er--among friends and--er--er--
relations in present and future. I need not say that the lady I refer
to is Miss Zaidee Juno Hooker, only daughter of Almira Ann Hooker,
relict of Jefferson Brown Hooker, formerly of Boone County, Kentucky,
and latterly of--er--Pike County, Missouri."
The sallow, ascetic hue of Mr. Hotchkiss's face had passed through a
livid and then a greenish shade, and finally settled into a sullen
red.


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