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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"


"_Should you think_," she asked me, "that a man would climb the
Matterhorn the very first year he was married?"
"I don't know, my dear," I answered, evasively; "this isn't the first
year I have been married, not by a good many, and I wouldn't climb
it--for a farm."
"You know what I mean," she said.
I did.
* * * * *
When we reached the boarding-house, Mr. Jacobus took me aside.
"You know," he began his discourse, "my wife she uset to live in N'
York!"
I didn't know, but I said "Yes."
"She says the numbers on the streets runs criss-cross-like.
Thirty-four's on one side o' the street an' thirty-five on t'other.
How's that?"
"That is the invariable rule, I believe."
"Then--I say--these here new folk that you 'n' your wife seem so
mighty taken up with--d'ye know anything about 'em?"
"I know nothing about the character of your boarders, Mr. Jacobus," I
replied, conscious of some irritability. "If I choose to associate
with any of them----"
"Jess so--jess so!" broke in Jacobus. "I hain't nothin' to say ag'inst
yer sosherbil'ty.


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