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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

Is that
so, or is it not?"
"That's it, to a dollar, Matt. Three times eleben make thirty-three,
don't it?"
"It do, Pink, or eleben times three, jes' which you please. Now here's
my count, on which you'll see, Pink, that not nary cent have I charged
for infloonce. I has infloonced a consider'ble custom to this house,
as you know, bo'din' and transion. But I done that out o' my respects
of you an' Missis Fluker, an' your keepin' of a fa'r--I'll say, as
I've said freckwent, a _very_ fa'r house. I let them infloonces go to
friendship, ef you'll take it so. Will you, Pink Fluker?"
"Cert'nly, Matt, an' I'm a thousand times obleeged to you, an'--"
"Say no more, Pink, on that p'int o' view. Ef I like a man, I know how
to treat him. Now as to the p'ints o' absentees, my business as dep'ty
sheriff has took me away from this inconsider'ble town freckwent,
hain't it?"
"It have, Matt, er somethin' else, more'n I were a expectin', an'--"
"Jes' so. But a public officer, Pink, when jooty call on him to go, he
got to go; in fack he got to _goth_, as the Scripture say, ain't that
so?"
"I s'pose so, Matt, by good rights, a--a official speakin'.


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