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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"


In words and other encouragement Mr. Pike was pronounced. He could
commend honestly, and he did so cordially.
"The thing to do, Pink, is to have your prices reg'lar, and make
people pay up reg'lar. Ten dollars for eatin', jes' so; eleb'n for
eatin' _an_' sleepin'; half a dollar for dinner, jes' so; quarter
apiece for breakfast, supper, and bed, is what I call reason'ble bo'd.
As for me, I sca'cely know how to rig'late, because, you know, I'm a'
officer now, an' in course I natchel _has_ to be away sometimes an' on
expenses at 'tother places, an' it seem like some 'lowance ought by
good rights to be made for that; don't you think so?"
"Why, matter o' course, Matt; what you think? I ain't so powerful good
at figgers. Nervy is. S'posen you speak to her 'bout it."
"Oh, that's perfec' unuseless, Pink. I'm a' officer o' the law, Pink,
an' the law consider women--well, I may say the law, _she_ deal 'ith
_men_, not women, an' she expect her officers to understan' figgers,
an' if I hadn't o' understood figgers Mr. Sanks wouldn't or darsnt' to
'p'int me his dep'ty. Me 'n' you can fix them terms.


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