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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"


Like goes 'ith like; it's red an' you're red, an' it's a dead match.
What yer mean? Hey! hole on! ole woman!--you! Hannah!--you." She
literally shook him into silence.
"You miserable wretch! you low-down drunken sot! what do you mean by
coming home and insulting your wife?" Hannah ceased shaking him from
pure exhaustion.
"Where is it, I say? where is it?"
By this time she was turning his pockets wrong side out. From one she
got pills, from another change, from another packages.
"The Lord be praised, and this is better luck than I hoped! Oh, elder!
elder! elder! what did you do it for? Why, man, where is Balaam?"
Thought of the beast choked off the threatened hysterics.
"Balaam? Balaam?" said the elder, groggily. "He's in town. The
infernal ole fool 'sulted me, an' I lef' him to walk home."
His wife surveyed him. Really at that moment she did think his mind
was gone; but the leer upon the old man's face enraged her beyond
endurance.
"You did, did you? Well, now, I reckon you'll laugh for some cause,
you will. Back you go, sir--straight back; an' don't you come home
'thout that donkey, or you'll rue it, sure as my name is Hannah Brown.


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