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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

Then they, hiding behind counters and suspended
cloaks, laughed and snickered until they reconvulsed the elder's
vis-a-vis, who had been making desperate efforts to resume her demure
appearance.
"Let me help you, sir," she said, coming from behind the counter, upon
seeing Elder Brown beginning to adjust his spectacles for a search. He
waved her back majestically. "No, my dear, no; can't allow it. You
mout sile them purty fingers. No, ma'am. No gen'l'man'll 'low er lady
to do such a thing." The elder was gently forcing the girl back to her
place. "Leave it to me. I've picked up bigger things 'n them. Picked
myself up this mornin'. Balaam--you don't know Balaam; he's my
donkey--he tumbled me over his head in the sand this mornin'." And
Elder Brown had to resume an upright position until his paroxysm of
laughter had passed. "You see this old hat?" extending it, half full
of packages; "I fell clear inter it; jes' as clean inter it as them
things thar fell out'n it." He laughed again, and so did the girls.
"But, my dear, I whaled half the hide off'n him for it."
"Oh, sir! how could you? Indeed, sir.


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