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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"


"Good morning, Mr. Riggles," said the Superintendent, "Anything fresh
this morning? Any Conundrum?"
"I haven't looked at the cattle," he answered, dryly.
"Cattle? Why cattle?"
"Why, to see if there's any _corn under 'em_!" he said; and
immediately asked, "Why is Douglas like the earth?"
We tried, but couldn't guess.
"Because he was _flattened out at the polls_!" said Mr. Riggles.
"A famous politician, formerly," said the Superintendent. "His
grandfather was a _seize-Hessian-ist_ in the Revolutionary War. By the
way, I hear the _freeze-oil_ doctrines don't go down at New Bedford."
The next Inmate looked as if he might have been a sailor formerly.
"Ask him what his calling was," said the Superintendent.
"Followed the sea," he replied to the question put by one of us. "Went
as mate in a fishing-schooner."
"Why did you give it up?"
"Because I didn't like working for _two mast-ers_," he replied.
Presently we came upon a group of elderly persons, gathered about a
venerable gentleman with flowing locks, who was propounding questions
to a row of Inmates.
"Can any Inmate give me a motto for M.


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