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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

He opened
it in the fewest possible words, and said other gentlemen were present
who would entertain them better than he. The audience were
disappointed, but waited. The Governor, prompted by Isaacs, said, "The
Honorable Mr. Delafield will address you." Delafield had forgotten the
knives and forks, and was playing the Ruy Lopez opening at the chess
club. "The Rev. Mr. Auchmuty will address you." Auchmuty had promised
to speak late, and was at the school committee. "I see Dr. Stearns in
the hall; perhaps he will say a word." Dr. Stearns said he had come to
listen and not to speak. The Governor and Isaacs whispered. The
Governor looked at Dennis, who was resplendent on the platform; but
Isaacs, to give him his due, shook his head. But the look was enough.
A miserable lad, ill-bred, who had once been in Boston, thought it
would sound well to call for me, and peeped out, "Ingham!" A few more
wretches cried, "Ingham! Ingham!" Still Isaacs was firm; but the
Governor, anxious, indeed, to prevent a row, knew I would say
something, and said, "Our friend Mr. Ingham is always prepared--and
though we had not relied upon him, he will say a word, perhaps.


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