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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

, etc., etc.; till
they came to the candied orange at the end of the feast--when Dennis,
rather confused, thought he must say something, and tried No. 4--"I
agree, in general, with my friend the other side of the room"--which
he never should have said but at a public meeting. But Mrs. Jeffries,
who never listens expecting to understand, caught him up instantly
with, "Well, I'm sure my husband returns the compliment; he always
agrees with you--though we do worship with the Methodists--but you
know, Mr. Ingham," etc., etc., etc., till the move was made upstairs;
and as Dennis led her through the hall, he was scarcely understood by
any but Polly, as he said, "There has been so much said, and, on the
whole, so well said, that I will not occupy the time."
His great resource the rest of the evening was standing in the
library, carrying on animated conversations with one and another in
much the same way. Polly had initiated him in the mysteries of a
discovery of mine, that it is not necessary to finish your sentence in
a crowd, but by a sort of mumble, omitting sibilants and dentals.
This, indeed, if your words fail you, answers even in public extempore
speech--but better where other talking is going on.


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