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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

A little excited then, he attempted one or two of his
speeches to the Judge's lady. But little he knew how hard it was to
get in even a _promptu_ there edgewise. "Very well, I thank you," said
he, after the eating elements were adjusted; "and you?" And then did
not he have to hear about the mumps, and the measles, and arnica, and
belladonna, and chamomile-flower, and dodecathem, till she changed
oysters for salad--and then about the old practice and the new, and
what her sister said, and what her sister's friend said, and what the
physician to her sister's friend said, and then what was said by the
brother of the sister of the physician of the friend of her sister,
exactly as if it had been in Ollendorff? There was a moment's pause,
as she declined champagne. "I am very glad you liked it," said Dennis
again, which he never should have said, but to one who complimented a
sermon. "Oh! you are so sharp, Mr. Ingham! No! I never drink any wine
at all--except sometimes in summer a little currant spirits--from our
own currants, you know. My own mother--that is, I call her my own
mother, because, you know, I do not remember," etc.


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