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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

Now the head master at
New Coventry is a real good fellow, who knows a Sanskrit root when he
sees it, and often cracks etymologies with me--so that, in strictness,
I ought to go to their exhibitions. But think, reader, of sitting
through three long July days in that Academy chapel, following the
program from
Tuesday Morning. English Composition. Sunshine. Miss Jones,
round to
Trio on Three Pianos. Duel from opera of Midshipman Easy. Marryatt.
coming in at nine, Thursday evening! Think of this, reader, for men
who know the world is trying to go backward, and who would give their
lives if they could help it on! Well! The double had succeeded so well
at the Board, that I sent him to the Academy. (Shade of Plato,
pardon!) He arrived early on Tuesday, when, indeed, few but mothers
and clergymen are generally expected, and returned in the evening to
us, covered with honors. He had dined at the right hand of the
chairman, and he spoke in high terms of the repast. The chairman had
expressed his interest in the French conversation. "I am very glad you
liked it," said Dennis; and the poor chairman, abashed, supposed the
accent had been wrong.


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