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Anonymous

"The Best American Humorous Short Stories"

Now, you know, my dear,' said the
merchant, swelling up, and apparently prouder of his great stomach
than of his large fortune, 'I am not of that kind. I am not easily
frightened. You may spare yourself the pain of trying to impose upon
me. People who propose to come to time before I arrive, are accustomed
to arise very early in the morning,' said he, thrusting his thumbs in
the armholes of his waistcoat, and spreading the fingers, like two
fans, upon his bosom. 'I think I have heard something of your secret.
You have a pair of spectacles, I believe, that you value very much,
because your grandmother brought them as a marriage portion to your
grandfather. Now, if you think fit to sell me those spectacles, I will
pay you the largest market price for glasses. What do you say?'
"I told him that I had not the slightest idea of selling my
spectacles.
"'My young friend means to eat them, I suppose,' said he with a
contemptuous smile.
"I made no reply, but was turning to leave the office, when the
merchant called after me--
"'My young friend, poor people should never suffer themselves to get
into pets.


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