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Halsey, Harlan Page, 1839?-1898

"Oscar the Detective Or, Dudie Dunne, The Exquisite Detective"

If you lads
will take me to her I will give you a penny apiece--I will, yes--I am in
earnest--hee, hee, hee!"
The laugh was something to hear, and the lads, all in chorus, imitated
the simpleton's laugh with a "hee, hee, hee!" which sounded very
ridiculous, and the dude said:
"Oh, you rude boys, I really believe you are mocking me--yes, I do. Now
don't be naughty, but come and show me where Maggie's aunt lives--hee,
hee, hee!"
Again the lads in chorus "hee, hee, hee-d."
"Boys, what have we struck?" came the question.
"Now don't be rude, boys, don't be rude, or I will chastise you--yes, I
will chastise you. I don't want to do so, but you may compel me to
chastise you."
The boys just roared at this threat, and one of them stealing behind
the dude gave him a "thumper" with his toe where the exquisite's pants
were drawn the tightest under his long coat.
"Oh, oh, you wicked boy! What do you mean? Stop, I say, stop, or I'll
call the police, yes, I will."
"Say, Dudie, there are no police around here; we slaughtered and burned
'em all last month; you'll find their graves down under the rocks there,
so don't holler.


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