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?© de, 1799-1850

"The Physiology of Marriage, Complete"


"Notice that impression,--I learn from it that my wife has had a
headache, and has been reclining there."
We stepped toward the divan, and saw the word FOOL lightly traced upon
the fatal cushion, by four

Things that I know not, plucked by lover's hand
From Cypris' orchard, where the fairy band
Are dancing, once by nobles thought to be
Worthy an order of new chivalry,
A brotherhood, wherein, with script of gold,
More mortal men than gods should be enrolled.

"Nobody in my house has black hair!" said the husband, growing pale.
I hurried away, for I was seized with an irresistible fit of laughter,
which I could not easily overcome.
"That man has met his judgment day!" I said to myself; "all the
barriers by which he has surrounded her have only been instrumental in
adding to the intensity of her pleasures!"
This idea saddened me. The adventure destroyed from summit to
foundation three of my most important Meditations, and the catholic
infallibility of my book was assailed in its most essential point. I
would gladly have paid to establish the fidelity of the Viscountess
V----- a sum as great as very many people would have offered to secure
her surrender. But alas! my money will now be kept by me.
Three days afterwards I met the councillor in the foyer of the
Italiens.


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