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?© de, 1799-1850

"The Physiology of Marriage, Complete"

Slang expressions will not fail her, and in
France we are so quickly vanquished by the ironical smile of another!
At other times headaches and nervous attacks make their appearance;
but these symptoms furnish matter for a whole future Meditation. In
the world she will speak of you without blushing, and will gaze at you
with assurance. She will begin to blame your least actions because
they are at variance with her ideas, or her secret intentions. She
will take no care of what pertains to you, she will not even know
whether you have all you need. You are no longer her paragon.
In imitation of Louis XIV, who carried to his mistresses the bouquets
of orange blossoms which the head gardener of Versailles put on his
table every morning, M. de Vivonne used almost every day to give his
wife choice flowers during the early period of his marriage. One
morning he found the bouquet lying on the side table without having
been placed, as usual, in a vase of water.
"Oh! Oh!" said he, "if I am not a cuckold, I shall very soon be one."
You go on a journey for eight days and you receive no letters, or you
receive one, three pages of which are blank.--Symptom.
You come home mounted on a valuable horse which you like very much,
and between her kisses your wife shows her uneasiness about the horse
and his fodder.


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