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?© de, 1799-1850

"The Physiology of Marriage, Complete"

It is thus that the wise man, survivor
of all reefs and shoals, such as we have pointed out, sometimes falls
into the snares which he himself has set.
I have myself noticed that man deals with marriage and its dangers in
very much the same way that he deals with wigs; and perhaps the
following phases of thought concerning wigs may furnish a formula for
human life in general.
FIRST EPOCH.--Is it possible that I shall ever have white hair?
SECOND EPOCH.--In any case, if I have white hair, I shall never wear a
wig. Good Lord! what is more ugly than a wig?
One morning you hear a young voice, which love much oftener makes to
vibrate than lulls to silence, exclaiming:
"Well, I declare! You have a white hair!"
THIRD EPOCH.--Why not wear a well-made wig which people would not
notice? There is a certain merit in deceiving everybody; besides, a
wig keeps you warm, prevents taking cold, etc.
FOURTH EPOCH.--The wig is so skillfully put on that you deceive every
one who does not know you.
The wig takes up all your attention, and _amour-propre_ makes you
every morning as busy as the most skillful hairdresser.
FIFTH EPOCH.--The neglected wig. "Good heavens! How tedious it is, to
have to go with bare head every evening, and to curl one's wig every
morning!"
SIXTH EPOCH.


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