I left some money with Scipione and went out.
Perhaps it had been better to have interrogated Virginia before taking
the step I now took, and so I should have done had I not been rather
disturbed in my mind, first, by my own pleasure at seeing her again--
which I now considered to have been disloyal to Aurelia--and next, by
Scipione's account of her state of heart. Virginia in love with me! This
was not the first time I had suspected it; but, reflecting upon our
meeting, I was not able to deny that she had been very much moved. Now,
should it be true, I thought to myself, what on earth was I to do? What,
indeed, were the MERITS of the case? Was the fault mine--and how could I
best repair it? These questions were beyond my then powers of resolution
while I was uncertain of Aurelia's fate and prospects, and I
deliberately put them aside. I turned all my powers of mind and heart to
consider her injuries, probable sufferings and monstrous humiliations,
and by the time I was near the Convent of SS. Maria e Giuseppe I was
trembling in every limb, and in the state of apprehension and desire
which becomes the devout lover of a lady incredibly lovely and wise.
I approached the shabby gate, and with uncovered head saluted the posts
which held it up. I rang the bell, the portress appeared; I asked her
for my mistress by name; she said that she would take up mine to the
Lady Superior if my lordship would be pleased to wait.
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